The adventures of EG!
by vordella
Summary: Equatorial Guinea,otherwise known as EG doesn't let anything get in her way! When she's not drunk at least. She's nice and kind and treats everyone with respect. When she's not beating the crud out of Sealand. Everyone likes her! When her mouth is taped up. And she's binded. And tied to a chair. Ok...so maybe she's not the ideal person. Use of oc's Siberia and EG!
1. The perfect drinking buddies

THE ADVENTURES OF EG.

**A/N: Ok so a new story! This is basically on my character EG otherwise known as Equatorial Guinea. **

**I'm also using my friend's (Wolfedloofeh on DA) oc Siberia.**

**This picture should explain everything:**

** art/The-perfect-drinking-buddies-397148719**

**I made the pic myself :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia**

**Theme for this one: Siberia and EG are drinking buddies ewe (This is basically an RP me and her did but only for about a majority of it.)**

Equatorial Guinea, otherwise known as EG, slammed her cup on the table.

"WAAAAIITTTOOOOR! MORE OSANG! WAIT NO VODKA! WAIT NO VODKA AND OSANG! YEAH MIX THOSE TWO TOGEHTOR I WANNA GET HIGH!" As drunk as EG seemed to be…Siberia was way worse. "FLYING MINT BUNNY! WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE!? YOU CAME TO SEE HERR STICK? SHE'S RIGHT HERE!" Siberia then proceeded to wave an imaginary stick in the air for a few seconds before falling to the ground.

EG looked at Siberia. "You okay...? We can stop the contest if you're going to die or something…" Determined not to give up, Siberia got back up using the bar table for support. "NYET! I will _not_ lose to a micronationnnnnn~! "Siberia yelled. At the term "micronation" EG jumped right up. "OH IT'S ON NOW, COMMIE!" EG yelled. "I CAN TAKE MY ACHOHOL!"Grabbing the nearest liquid available, which was wine, EG started to gulp it down.

Determined not to lose to EG, Siberia attempted to drink some sake but quickly spat it out. "OH DEAR GOD JAPAN THIS SHIT IS TERRIBLE! "Feeling depressed Japan started to go towards the emo corner. "Oh yeah!?" EG started to drink some Bud light but choked on it. "ACK THIS IS WORSE! AMERICA YOU SUCK!" America sulked. Siberia grabbed a can of Berliner Weisse and felt better. "Oh god. This is soooooooooooo much better. "Germany, who was in the bar, smiled. "NOT AT GOOD AS VODKA THOUGH" Germany joined Japan and America in the emo corner.

Wanting to impress Siberia EG started to chug down Osang and Vodka at the same time."HECK YEAH! OSANG FOR DA WIN!" EG exclaimed feeling more wasted than before. Russia however was upset. "My vodka…." Smirking Siberia decided to give EG some advice. "Try vodka and straight espresso. Wakes you right up, in the morning, da!" Siberia then turned to the crying Russian. "Calm down, bolshoy brat, I'll buy you some more once I'm sober." Taking Siberia's suggestion, EG gulped down a cupful of vodka and straight vodka.

That was when all hell broke loose.

"IFEELSOALIVEIWONDERWHERERUSSIAISINEEDTOKISSHIMNOI NFACTLETSGETMARRIEDRUSSIAMARRIAGEMARRIAGEMARRIAGE! "

EG screamed as she started to talk incredibly fast. Siberia did the same as she chugged down the 'chocolate Russian.'

"Woo! RUSSIA HEYEHEYHEYHEYHEYRUSSIABROTHERBRUDERBRATFRATELLOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSCREWGETTINGMARRIEDMARRIAGEM ARRYMARRIEDMARAGEMARRYMEMARRYWAITWHATSCREWTHATBROT HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR LET'SSTARTANOTHERCOLDWARCOLDWARCOLDWARRRRRRRR EXCEPTTHISTIMEIT'LLBENICEANDTOASTYHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTH OT

NUCLEARWARFAREWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Russia started to quickly edge away as EG came closer.

"LETSMAKEOUTANDGETMARRIEDANDHAVESOUTHAMERICANRUSSI ANCHILDRENNOSCRATCHTHATWLETSSTARTWORLDWARTHREMEAND RUSSIAVERSUSTHEWORLDWECANBOMBAMERICAANDNORTHITALYA LONGWITHKOREAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJALETSGODOSOMEILLEGALST UFFLIKEPOLLDANCINGDIDYOUKNOWIPOLLDANCEIFEELSOALIII IVVVEE!"

Portugal, who was also there, started to cry at EG's behavior. "Where did I go wrong with her?" Germany started at the crazed Siberian. "And this is supposed to be the successor to the Russian Empire? Mein Gott... Why did I allow her to go drinking again?" Siberia on the other hand was yelling at EG and Portugal.

"NYET NYET NEY EGEGEGEGEGEGEGEG HE'S MOY BRAT! MOYBRATMOYBRAYMOYBRAT! YOU CAN'T MARRY MOY BRAT! BESIDESITSTOOHOTWHEREYOULIVEANDTOOCOLDHEREINRUSSIA ITWOULDNEVERWORKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

RUSSIAAAAAAAAAA HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS START A NEW COLDCOLDCOLDWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

EGFCOURSEICANMARRYHIMHAVEN'TYOUEVERHEARDOFOPPOSITE SATTRACTIDONTLIKEYOULETSGOTOWARANDGERMANYYOUBIGHUN KOFGERMANESSGETOFFMYMANRUSSIAISMYONLYONEANDSHUTUPP ORTUGALYOUDONTUNDERSTANDTRUELOVE!"

Still wanting more EG drank some more of the Chocolate Russian.

"LGVKJDSGLKJFLKSJLDKj!"

Spain came up to EG hoping he could calm her down. "Calm down senorita." "NEVER!"

Siberia, who was still on the Russia thing, started to yell at EG again.

"YOUCAN'TMARRYHIMDAMNITHELOVESCHINA!" Russia smiled. "It's true da?" China looked at Russia. "I-I don't…" Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol you will soon enough, my little sunflower~!" "Go away Russia."

"SEEITOLDYOUIWINIWINIWINIWINIWIN

DAMNSTRAIGHTHE'SABIGHUNKOFGERMANNESS

ABIGHUNKOFSEXYGERMANNESSOFSEXINESSSSSSSSSS

IGODDAMNDOUNDERSTANDTRUELOVERIGHTLUDWIGRIGHTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"

Scared of what would happen if he said no, Germany cleared his throat. "J-ja…." Siberia turned back to EG. All the nations were afraid they were going to argue again but what Siberia said was very shocking.

"ILIKETHISEVENTHOUGHWE'RETHREATENINGTOKILLEACHOTHE RWESHOULDGODRINKINGTOGETHERMOREOFTENYOUAGREEDA?!"

EG seemed to agree.

"HELLYEAHWESHOULDDOTHISMOREOFTENITSSSSSOOOOFUUN!" EG then proceeded to fall on the ground and started to laugh uncontrollably. England held up a notepad writing something. "Note to self: keep vodka and expresso away from these two..."

Fortunately Siberia didn't hear him.

"YEAHTOTALLYLIKEEVERYFUCKINGWEEKENDWE'LLDRAGALLTHE SELAMEASSPARTYBITCHESSOWECANMOCKTHEMINOURDRUNKENST ATE"

Walking over calmly to Germany, Siberia started to pester him. "Pssssttttt, hey, Fritz? Want to know a secret? "His eyebrows twitching, He looked at her. "What?"

"I'm not even drunk! I've only had two bottles of vodka! It's just the ESPRESSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOO THANK YOU ITALY FOR MAKING THIS AWESOMESHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"

Italy smiled holding a box full of expresso. "Ve no problem bella!" EG grabbed the box of expresso and started to drink it all.

"WESHOULDDOTHISNEXTWEEKENDNOBETTERWESHOULDHAVEAGER MANSPARKLEPARTY!"

Completely high, EG ran over and practically glomped Spain.

"SPAINSPAINSPAINSPAINLETSDOEEEEETLETSHAVEAGERMANSP ARKLEPARTYCANWECANWECANWE!?"

To make matters worse Siberia heard EG and squealed at the idea.

"ILIKEGERMANSPARKLEPARTIESSPARKLEPARTIESSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Germany however didn't agree.

"NEIN! NEIN! NEIN! WE WILL NOT RELIVE THAT TERRIBLE NIGHT I GOT INCREDIBLY OVER INTOXICATED ON!

" Siberia stripped down to a tank top, yoga shorts, and rubber boots and started to dance sexually. "JA I'VE GOT MEIN RUBBER BOOTS UND PARTY PANTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

EG did the same thing except she stripped to her undergarments horrifying Spain and Portugal. "PARTY PANTS! PARTY PANTS! Oh crud I don't have party pants. WHATEVER!"

Germany joined the emo corner. EG and Siberia wasn't going to have that though.

"JOIN US GERMANY! JOIN UUUUSSSS!"

They both said in at the same time. Siberia skipped over to Germany's emo corner and dumped sparkles all over him.

"COME ON, GERMANYYYYYYYYYY! FRITZZZZZZZZ YOU KNOW YOU WANT TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Japan, seeing the situation getting out of hand, started to talk to Italy. "Italy-san. We should get out of here before something really bad happens. "

"Ve~! No!" Italy then stripped to his boxers. "YAY FOR GERMAN SPARKLE PARTIESSSSSSSSS!"

All of a sudden Prussia kicked down the door.

"DID SOMEVONE SAY GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY?! KESESESESESE~! OH VVEEESSSTTTTT, COME UND JOIN USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

Germany was trying to get the sparkles out but to no avail. "Nein."

EG looked to Italy in approval for his decision. "HECK YEAH ITALY! SIBERIA AND PRUSS TRY TO CONVERT GERMANY!" Then EG looked at Japan evilly.

"Oh god no…"

"GERMAN SPAAARRRKLLEEE PAAARTTIIEESS!" And in a few seconds EG was on top of Japan undressing him. It was a little difficult thought due to his struggling. However, after a few seconds of trying EG fell backwards letting out a high-pitched squeal. At the squeal Japan went into Otaku mode and ripped his clothes off.

Germany was a different story.

"Joooiiinnn ussss…"

Shivering in terror, Germany tried to fight of the power of the German sparkle party. But he was losing and it was only a matter of time.

Spain looked at EG and then sighed. "What did you do to her Portugal?" "I didn't do anything!" "Sure…." Prussia laughed insanely. "COME ON WEST! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!" "N-nein!"

Germany was struggling to maintain his sanity as his urge to join was getting stronger much to Siberia's delight.

"AAAH! SOMEBODY HELP ME JAPAN GONNA DO SOMETHING TO ME!" Japan in his Otaku mode, had also downed the Chocolate Russian and was now currently chasing EG. "AAAHH!" "IT'S RAPING TIME! HUEHUEHUEHUE!"

Finally Germany gave in. "Ja is this a party?" "JA THIS IS A PARTY!" everyone said. Tonight was going to be fun.

**A/N: what have I done…**


	2. EG in certain situations

A/N: Ok so now time for a little filler until I finish an RP with Wolfy that'll determine about the "aftermath" of the German Sparkle Party. I'm also going to do stuff based on her history as well but that will come in later. Some facts on her history:

_Equatorial Guinea (Spanish: Guinea Equatorial), officially the Republic of Equatorial Guinea (Spanish: República de Guinea Ecuatorial, French: République de Guinée équatoriale, Portuguese: República da Guiné Equatorial),[a] is a country located in Middle Africa. With an area of 28,000 square kilometres (11,000 sq mi) Equatorial Guinea is one of the smallest countries in continental Africa. It has two parts, an insular and a mainland region. The insular region consists of the islands of Bioko (formerly Fernando Pó) in the Gulf of Guinea and Annobón, a small volcanic island south of the equator. Bioko island is the northernmost part of Equatorial Guinea and is the site of the country's capital, Malabo. The island nation of São Tomé and Príncipe is located between Bioko and Annobón. The mainland region, Río Muni, is bordered by Cameroon on the north and Gabon on the south and east. It also includes several small offshore islands (such as Corisco, Elobey Grande, and Elobey Chico)._

_Formerly the colony of Spanish Guinea, its post-independence name evokes its location near both the equator and the Gulf of Guinea. Apart from the Spanish territories of Canary Islands, Ceuta and Melilla on the coast of Morocco, and Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic, it is the only country in Africa whose de jure official language is Spanish._

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I **DO **own EG though.

Theme: EG in certain situations. (I need help….I really do….)

"Osang! Osang makes me go bang! Eck…I really need to work on my rhymes…" EG was on the search for her favorite beverage as she wondered the conference halls. "Let's see….the kitchen is…err." It took a while, but she finally found the kitchen after ten minutes of mindless wandering. "There it is! Osang let's go somewhere more private and get to know each other better…."

"HOW DARE YOU!?"

EG snapped out of her thoughts as she heard a loud outburst. "Oh! Someone is arguing. I better go stalk them and make the situation worse!" And with that EG happily skipped out of the kitchen, Osang and all.

"SHUT YO MOUTH! I CAN SAY WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT TO!"

"Is that the blond hero guy? Oh wait…..America? I think. Let's see…he's Canada's bro right? "EG looked around. "And I'm talking to myself again."

"NUH-UH! THIS IS MAH PLACE!"

"Let's see…..who could be making that noise? It seems to coming from that room…" EG quietly opened the door. And by quietly she slammed it open. What she saw…was a little shocking.

"SHUT UP ESTONIA! THIS IS AMURICA, LAND OF THE FREE AND THE BURGERS!" _Since when can Latvia yell like that?_ EG thought to herself. Estonia slammed his hands on the table. "THAT'S EPICSTONIA TO YOU SLUTVIA!" "SHUT IT! ES-uh….dang it I can't think of a comeback!" "Uh….Estonera?" EG suggested. "That's brilliant!" Estonia on the other hand flipped the bird at EG. "Eff you EG."

~! #$%^&*()_+-=

"Oh Osang…" EG purred at the bottle as she stared at it longingly. "Let's have some fun shall we?"

_Knock knock._

"Who is it?" "Uh….EG do you mind if I come in?" "England? Sure you can come in." "And….could you promise not laugh." "I ain't promising nothing. Now get your butt over here so I can laugh." A small sigh came from the other door as a female England came in.

"….."

"….."

"BWAHAHAHA!"

"Don't laugh!"

"Haha! I knew your voice was higher! I just thought you always sounded like that!" Huffing, England took a seat next to EG. "Heh…so what happened Blondie?" "Don't call me that. As for my current state I was trying to a spell and I messed up." "See? This is why we should just let do Romania do the magic." "Sigh…..I know…"

~! #$%^&*()_+-=

"Osang…I think we might be soul mates…" "EG!" "Tch…what now?" EG looked over her shoulder to see a blonde guy with a cowlick waving towards her. "Uh…" "So EG! I was wondering if I could like borrow money since you're loaded and stuff. But I don't pay you back because I'm sort of broke with China and stuff. "EG stared at him for a second. "Uh...EG?" "Err…sorry but…who are you?" "What?" EG snapped her fingers. "Oh! I know! You're Canada!" America stiffened. "I-it's…America." "Oh! Sorry Emerico!" America facepalmed.

~! #$%^&*()_+-=

"Osang~"

"Hey EG."

"WHAT THE F*** DO YOU POSSIBLY WANT!? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO MAKE LOVE HERE!?"

Portugal had to have therapy for the two months after.

A/N: Oh EG and her Osang…..

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	3. Party Aftermath

**A/N: Hey I'm back. So this is basically an aftermath of the party in the first chapter. It also uses another oc. Oceania by Paws on DA. I'll send you guys a link if want to know how he looks like: D**

**Also I'm using a few of Wolfy's lines of dialogue in her part of this chapter so I give credit for this chapter too.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia but I own EG**

**Theme: Aftermath**

Siberia groaned with the force of one thousands hangovers as she sat up from the floor.

"My head... I sparkle partied entirely too hard, da..." She moaned as she rubbed her head. EG, who was right next to her, sat up. "Yeah...but to be honest I was too busy running from Japan to enjoy it." "Hue hue...you'll come back eventually."

Japan cooed, drunk from drinking WAY too much sake. "Heh…" EG leaned towards Siberia as Japan started to run around the house looking for Hungary to ask her something. "Help meeee…"

Siberia yawned, surveying her surroundings. "How did we get in Caterpillar Brows' house? And why am I wearing a leotard?" Siberia asked EG, who looked thoroughly at Siberia noticing the leotard. "I… think you and some European country was doing a dance off or something. " EG answered. "What happened last night?"

Germany asked a little scared of what was around him. Siberia on the other hand was scared too but for an entirely different reason. "I... I had a dance-off with a European country? OH DEAR GOD WHAT IF I WAS GRINDING AGAINST FRANCE EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWW!"

Siberia then proceeded to shut her eyes tightly and smashed her head into the closest object. China.

"Get off of me" China yelled as he shoved Siberia off of him, weakly mumbling about how he was too old to go partying like that. Siberia turned her attention back to Germany to answer his question. "To answer your question, Fritz, we had a sparkle party and got drunk as the fuck. Though I remember nothing else..."

EG walked towards the two of them. "I was actually sober by 2 am but fell back asleep. I'm used to drinking so I don't feel hangovers." Spain started at EG for a few seconds. "Wait a minute are you by any chance an alcoholic?" EG snorted as she rolled her eyes. "Maybe...and Siberia I think you were dancing with Picardy." EG said pointing towards a sleeping Picardy.

"Dayum. Even Russia and I can't do that." Siberia said, impressed at EG. "Also, Spain, we're all alcoholics here. Everyone knows about your /cough cough/ sexual /cough cough/ relationship with margaritas." Siberia said as Spain tried to protest.

Siberia looked back at Picardy and shrugged her shoulders. "Meh. I'd rather Picardy than France. Or Prussia. Or you know, any European nation." EG cooed at Picardy, who was still sleeping. "He's like a sleeping angel..." All of a sudden Picardy sprang up. "France m'a dit de le faire la Chine ne m'a frappé avec votre wok!" He yelled before falling back asleep. France, who also had woken up, gave Picardy a look. "Uh...I don't even know what to say to that. And what am I lying on?" "Me you bloody frog. You passed out on me last night…" England said weakly from under France. Siberia snorted looking at EG. "Do I feel a little bit of admiration in the air? Picardy, why can't you ever make sense...?"EG started to blush lightly as she took a quick glance at Picardy. "No. I just have a deep respect for him. And his little cat ears are so cute!" Greece, who was obviously at the party, started to shake uncontrollably at the sleeping French region with the cat ears. "Must...resist..." "Moving on, I seem to have my clothes back on somehow." EG said ignoring Greece. Siberia looked at EG for a second before going ghetto and saying "Mmmhhhmmmmmm" at what EG said about Picardy.

Siberia turned to Greece. "Greece, go home. You're drunk. Wait. No. We all are. Damn it.

"Siberia turned on her phone and started to look at pictures before freaking out at one of them. "EG. Why was I wearing your outfit...?!"

EG looked at the picture Siberia had on her phone. "I don't know...I think I was still a little bit drunk there still. And Greece is starting to worry me..." "NNeeahahh..." Greece cried. "That boy ain't right."

Siberia shivered, handing her phone to EG as a video began to play.

EG was wearing Siberia's clothes from the previous night. "Hey! Siberia! How the hell do you wear this every day?!" Siberia was wearing EG's clothes and looked at her. "I'll have ya bloody nose that its veryyyyy comfyterble! Whereas, this sheet you wear is disgusting~! "

"Apparently, we decided to have a wonderful clothes swap." Siberia stated."Well at least we didn't do what Italy did with that pasta..." EG said shivering.

Peru, who was Ukraine's clothes for some odd reason, ran across the living room yelling "Viva la espana!" before passing out causing Spain to sigh. EG didn't seem to care though. "I wonder where Oceania and Austria are."

Siberia became very appalled about EG's comment about Italy. "Dear god. I don't even want to know what horrible things France taught him. But... Hey, shouldn't Peru say, "Viva la Peru"? I mean, I'm not the best at European languages, but, still... "Siberia shrugged. "I bet you five thousand rubles that Oceania is somewhere in bed with Aland. Austria... Err... Last time I hosted a party, we found Austria passed out inside a piano. So. Look there. I guess..." EG walked over to the piano and opened was wearing a kitty outfit and cuddling the now broken piano strings. "MY PRECIOUS!" EG slammed the piano back down and walked back to Siberia. "Yep. He's in there. And on Peru I'm pretty sure she's drunk. I bet you ten thousand rubles that Oceania is sleeping with Ukraine."

EG thought about her bet for a second. "30 thousand Seychelles' dressed as a fairy." England jumped up in joy as EG said fairy. "DID SOMEBODY SAY FAIRY!?""Go die in a hole England." EG said in a monotone voice. England started to cry quietly.

Siberia coughed quietly, handing over some whiskey to England while whispering, "It's okay. I can see Flying Mint Bunny, Uni, and the others too. I just prefer people not to think I'm crazy."

And then went back to EG."We have some major gambling issues. Forty thousand that Spain is currently in the fridge, covered in tomato juice." "Fifty thousand Iceland is doing "things" to the other fridge downstairs."

"WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS MONEY!?" Portugal asked EG. "I have many secrets ports…" EG said smirking slightly. Siberia snorted. "Seventy-five thousand says the fridge is doing 'things' to him! Oh, and, Portugal, rubles are not worth much compared to euros. So, seventy-five thousand rubles is..." Siberia stopped for a second to do the math. "Like, only 1750 Euros." "Yeah and plus I'm like totally loaded and stuff!" EG chimed in as she went to check on the fridge.

10 minutes later.

"Dang it,"EG mumbled handing Siberia some rubles. "You were right." Hungary walked in. "Has anyone seen Austria? "In the piano." EG said pointing to it.

Siberia nodded. "Being rich is nice, da." She smiled happily. "Money money money money money~! Of course I was right. I know my damned Nordics." Siberia stopped to think about Austria for a moment. "Should we get him out of the piano, by the way...?""Nah. Just let him be. Plus I'm like totally loaded on oil and stuff so. Siberia smiled. "So does mine! My chief exports are timber, precious metals, and particularly fossil fu-" China threw a jar of Nutella at Siberia's head. "Stop rubbing all of your overly abundant natural resources in our faces!" "Fine." "HOORAY FOR BEING BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!" EG exclaimed high fiving Siberia. Siberia grinned, returning the high five. "Hooray for vodka!"

"Vodka for everyone!" EG cheered.

"YAAAY!

"AMERICAN VODKA."

"BOOO!"

Russia frowned. "I don't want the artificial kind..."

Romania walked in with a pained expression. "What's wrong Ro?" "America...five hours...twilight..." Was all he could say before breaking down in tears.

**A/N: Hurray for another chapter!**

**Translation notes:**

**France m'a dit de le faire la Chine ne m'a frappé avec votre wok!- France told me to do it China don't hit me with your wok!**

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	4. EG's totally loaded

**A/N: New chapter yay! Ok so if you guys have any ideas for a chapter could you please tell me? I NEED ideas after this chapter I only have one more theme.**

**So doing some research I found this:**

**"Since the mid-1990s, Equatorial Guinea has become one of sub-Sahara's largest oil producers. With a population of 650,702, it is the richest country per capita in Africa, and its gross domestic product (GDP) per capita ranks 69th in the world; however, the wealth is distributed very unevenly and few people have benefited from the oil riches"**

**So I decided to write a chapter on this. I didn't include it in this chapter, but EG is quite greedy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I DO own EG though.**

_Chapter 3: EG's totally loaded._

"IGGY! HOW IS IT FREAKING POSSIBLE THAT YOU SPENT 1,000 DOLLARS ON ALCOHOL!?"

"TO BE FAIR I'M A WOMAN NOW!"

"WELL IT IS NOT MY FAULT YOUR SPELL WENT WRONG!"

"SHUT UP!"

EG stirred her osang with her finger as America and the now female England were arguing. It's been a week since England turned himself into a she and SHE wasn't taking it that well. "Dang it Iggy. I thought you being all emotional were what you usual do. I was right. But it's worse now with that femininity." England quietly sobbed as he ordered another drink which angered an already broke America.

"Don't be so harsh America. You would freak out too if you changed gender just like that." America glared at EG. "How would you react?" EG smirked. "Pretty well actually. I'd get to feel some manliho-" "Lalala I'm not listening!" England said covering his-I mean her ears. "Anyways….so how much is in that wallet of yours America?" America sighed as he opened his wallet to reveal a piece of gum paper or whatever you call it.

" economy is suckish right now. What about you Iggy?" "WHAT DO YOU BLOODY THINK!?" "And that's a no from the crying brit."

Just then the bartender handed the trio the bill. Seeing the price of the drinks, America nearly had a stroke as he turned a ghostly white pale. "So expensive…" England too was scared of what would happen if they couldn't pay. Which they couldn't.

EG rolled her eyes at the two as she pulled out a wallet from who the heck knows. "Well…since you two just HAD to screw up with alcohol…I'll pay for the both of you." England was shocked by this. "You c-can afford this!?" "Yep." EG said simply as she pulled out a wad of hundreds. "Here you go my good the change." Is all that EG said as she handed the surprised bartender WAY more money than needed. America simply stared. "How do you have so much money?" "Uh….I have TONS of oil,duh. Of course I'm loaded. Unlike some people who borrow money from countries like China and can't pay them back." "Hey! That's hurtful!" Ignoring America's complaint, EG ordered another case of Osang. With America and England, it was going to be a long night.

`! #$%%^&&

"So dudes! EG is like totally loaded!" Declared America as he opened up the world meeting. Fortunately for America, EG was absent due to something related with 'Osang' and 'alone time.' Probably something totally innocent and normal.

Denmark nearly spat out his coffee at America's announcement. "Loaded? Really? Are you sure!?" America nodded. "Dude she paid like the price of a beer company when little miss Iggy here wanted to 'drown her sorrows'."

"QUIT SAYING THAT! I KNOW I MESSED UP WITH THAT OK!?" Sobbed England.

"Anyways. So yeah EG is rich." Prussia, who was broke and needed 'beer money,' smiled evilly as he called over his two buds Spain and France. "What is it Prussia?" Spain asked. "I was thinking…how come we're not friends with EG yet?" France and Spain thought for a moment.

"Because Portugal and England won't let me near her?" Guessed France.

" again."

This time Spain answered.

"Because you never had interest in African countries?"

Prussia shook his head. "We aren't friend with her yet because we didn't know much about her. But now we know ONE thing: She has money." France scratched his head, still confused. "And why?" Prussia sighed. Seriously, they are COMPLETELY slow. "She has is what you use to buy beer. You buy more beer you drink more beer; you drink more beer you buy more beer it's a perfect cycle! Do you see what I'm saying?" Spain looked around the room uneasily, then back to Prussia. "I don't know….the last time I used her for advantage was during the middle passage and England still hates me for that. So I don't think we should do that." "You are not making any sense whatsoever Spain. What about you Francy-pants?" France shrugged. "Seems fun." "Seems fun!?" "Yes Spain. I don't have anything to do at the moment so I could go for some free money. What do you suggest we do Prussia?" Spain gave France an 'are you even listening to me?' look but France and Prussia chose to ignore it. Prussia moved closer to the two as he told them his plan.

`! #$%%^&&

EG gently patted the currently depressed England's back as she tried to comfort her. "It's not that bad. It's temporary right?" "Yes…I have to wait a month though." "Well hey that's one week down three more to go!" "That makes me feel a little bit better. Thanks." "No prob. Just hate to see ya cry."

As EG was being uncharacteristically supportive for once, Prussia was right outside the door, ready to set his plan in motion. Picking up his walkie talkie, he slowly edged closer. "Psst…you ready Spain?" A sigh was heard from the walkie talkie but sure enough the signal click was made. Getting into position, Prussia waited patiently for the plan to set into motion.

"So England…while you're a girl…wanna try on makeup?" "Tempting but…..oh who am I kidding yes." "Good then let's go meet siber-AAH!" As EG had gotten up to the door, she tripped on a conveniently placed banana peel and was about to fall on her face when Prussia swooped in a pulled her back up. "You better be careful!" Prussia said to EG who blushed a little. "Uh o-ok." England, who was a little upset at Prussia, smacked him upside the head. Unfortunately Prussia accidently let go of EG when he got smacked and EG ended up with a concussion. "Ouchie….my head it hurts. And I can hear colors."

`! #$%%^&&

"Are you ok EG? I apologize about that incident earlier….but that bloody Prussian deserved it! A little suspicious if you ask me." EG giggled as she turned her head to the right. Then to the left. Then to the right again. "You taste like purples." England grew a little concerned. "Are you ok EG? You seem…a little off. Is it that concussion of yours?" EG snorted and giggled insanely. This went on for five minutes.

`! #$%%^&&

"Ok guys. We failed with our plan. Let's move on to plan B!" "And what exactly is plan B Prussia?" "Glad you asked Spain!" Prussia pulled out a blueprint and put it down flat on the table so Spain and France could see it. "What do you guys think?" "It's a pretty good plan actually." Spain said in shock.

`! #$%%^&&

EG, who finally got over her concussion but still had that color problem, was applying green eye shadow. "You're lucky England. I have tons of green makeup. It looks good on you!" "Thanks. Just don't tell that bloody frog and the yankee about this." "My lips are sealed." EG said as she went to look for mascara. Just as England turned her back from the door, Prussia quietly walked in, placed a small box on the bed (they were in EG's bedroom in case you were wondering), and ran back out just as England turned back around. "Hm? Hey EG is this box yours?" "Eh…no. But it is now give me it." England handed EG the box who immediately opened it. In there was EG's most favorite thing in the world besides Osang.

A green animal plush.

EG nearly squealed. Her cute little animals in the color green, what more could she ask for! That was when she noticed that it held a little plush osang bottle. "That's adorable," England cooed. "I wonder...who sent you this?" "Beats me. Oh hey look a note!" EG picked up the note. It read:

_Dear EG,_

_Let's be friends! I'm sure we'll get along just fine!_

_Love, Prussia_

_And Spain and France_

"He seems nice! I should go see him! Oh we can go get some be-"Before EG could finish her sentence and Prussia could do his happy dance, England snatched the note away from EG. And ripped it into shreds. "What was that for?" "I don't want you near Prussia."

**A/N: Ok so a little explanation. The reason why England and EG are close is based on a lil headcanon on her that is hard to explain. It's not a shippin-ew no. They're just close friends :D**

**Read and Review!**


	5. The rare moment when depression hits

**A/N: Ok so the other day a very interesting thought came to me: What would happen if EG became depressed? After thinking about it, a headcanon came into my mind and this chapter was created. This chapter shows a side to EG that comes once in a blue moon and only lasts for a short time. Enjoy~**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. I DO own EG though.**

Chapter 5: The rare moment when depression hits.

Today was an unusual day.

"Hey EG!"

"…"

A very unusual day indeed.

_ Maybe she didn't hear me,_ America thought to himself as EG walked right past him. _Let me try again._ America cleared his throat. "Hey EG!" This time EG stopped, but continued walking after a few seconds of silence. _I wonder what's wrong? She usually says hi back._ Determined to find some answers, America went to look for the one nation that knew her best.

`! #$%%^&&

"Hey little miss brit!" England glared at America. "What do you want you bloody twat? Can't you see I'm drinking my morning tea? "Well whatever. Tea or no tea I need to ask you a very serious question." England raised an Iggy brow. "What could it possibly Yankee? Need to know where the nearest Mc Donald's is located at?" "Heh heh..No. I wanted to know if you had any idea why EG is acting unlike her usual self today." England stiffened.

"R-really? How strange! Well that's really odd so…yeah." "England….do you might have an idea about what's wrong with her?" America asked suspiciously. "N-no! What give you that idea!?" "Because your voice gets REALLY high when you're nervous." "Well to be fair I am a woman now!" England replied laughing nervously. Before America could get further into the topic England quickly spun around and ran away. "Dang it, maybe I can ask France."

`! #$%%^&&

EG kept her head low as she sat down on one of the chairs. She looked at her watch then sighed. "I'm twenty minutes early….oh well." Seeing that no one else was in the room, she started to gently tap the table with her fingers. As she gently tapped the table she looked around the room. Due to Peru* getting homesick easily, she was allowed to hang her flag in the conference room to make her more comfortable during the meeting. . Frowining slightly, EG put more force into her tapping. IT was then that she started to talk to herself darkly. "See that EG? They want her to be comfortable. HE didn't seem to want YOU comfortable back then." EG started to pound the table. "They seem to really like you. They seem to really like you. They seem to really like you that's what it is." EG started to scratch lightly on the table as she kept telling herself that. When breathing became a difficulty, EG lost it and pounded her hands down on the table, cracking it. Abruptly she stood up, and ran out of the room.

**A/N: There is an explanation….that I WILL NOT TELL YOU! –Insert maniacal laugh- Yeah but next chapter should go back to its humor. Read and Review!**


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